It is very easy to be discouraged after your marriage is crippled by cheating. This is true regardless of whether you are a loyal spouse or an illegal spouse. On either side, you can feel that your life has changed dramatically. It can feel as if it never gets better. And always looking at the negative aspects of life can be depressing. However, it can be difficult to see other aspects.
For example, a cheating spouse says, “I know I ’m very depressed, but what deserves to happen. I cheated my wife once. I ’m sorry no more.” Counseling I have been angry but she is still very angry. I can't blame her. If she cheats me, I get mad at her. Last night, I scrolled randomly across the phone and was looking at photos from six months ago. The counselor told me to find a little way to lighten my home load, but that doesn't make sense. There is now a black cloud over everything. I don't like this feeling, so I want to be more positive, but I don't know what to do if this is my fault. "
“My spouse says I'm sorry for the cheating and goes out to counseling every week. But it feels like someone can do the magic. My husband always has children living like this. I hate to have to complain-I'm angry at our house right now, I don't like it, I want to laugh and laugh again, but I'm very angry I can't help it.I trusted my husband and he betrayed I lied in the worst way possible.And he got caught so he did everything well I really like to do this, I really love to do this, but I'm angry, do you think I always like to hurt if I'm angry? 39; t Don't know how to stop feelings.How do you think you will be more positive after the event?
This is very difficult. Here are some things that helped me a bit. And for the sake of clarity, I was initially trying to be positive about myself and my children. My husband regained it, but at that time I didn't expect her to deserve my aggressiveness. He wrote five things to be grateful for every night in the gratitude diary. I started with five things, but I found that I can usually come up with more if I really strive and concentrate. I still remember the common theme I had almost every night. They were like this:
I am alive
My children are alive.
My kids and i am healthy.
I am healthy and intelligent and can start over if needed.
My spouse and I love children and do whatever is necessary for their happiness.
My dog loves me
My big family supports me.
Both the spouse and myself still exist, so even if you are struggling now, you may eventually have a chance.
There is a roof overhead.
There is enough food to eat.
I have a loving friend who will support me.
It continued for a long time. However, at the end of the day, by tracking what was grateful, I found that this event was only part of my life. Yes, it felt that everything else was contaminated, so I had to train myself to protect other areas of my life. I told my friend that talking about affair was forbidden. Eventually, I consulted with my husband and agreed to discuss counseling with the appointment several times a week, but otherwise I was going to do my best not to argue. Because if I didn't make this conscious decision, I would spend all the moments waking up thinking about it and felt I didn't need it or wanted it. It was sad to spend so much time.
The truth is that things will change over time, regardless of whether you are anti-rum in the incident. Your point of view will change over time. Your marriage will survive or will not survive, but allowing it to anti-minating it and polluting the good things in your life will not change the result-but it will You may even feel much worse about good things. Being positive in the middle of an incident is a very hard job. You need to redirect yourself many times a day, being aware of your thoughts and decisions. However, negative 24/7 swimming is painful and debilitating, so it is worth the effort. You deserve better. And if you do your best, you can become a habit of turning yourself toward positive thinking.
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