7 Jokes About Employees You Wish You Didn't Hire

All managers hired employees who wanted to never hire. Hire a loser-and shine it-a special gift:

a. Jokes about the types of employees you don't want to hire
b. Solution: How to use-thus avoid hiring such creeps

Solutions include pre-employment testing, special interview tips, and more to help you stop placing terrible employees on your company's salary.

Lazy
Joke # 1 = Some employees are very lazy ... Even if they work from home, they are still late.

Solution: Use a pre-employment test that measures work ethics. If applicants get a low score on the test work ethics scale, they need to find someone with more motivation and diligence.

Dam
Joke # 2 = Some employees are very stupid ... When they find out that they can apply for other jobs online, they ask "where should I go?"

Admit: hired several employees with room temperature IQ.

Hiring employees who aren't smart enough for work can cause costly problems. They feel that it is difficult or impossible to [a] learn the job and [2] correctly solve the problems encountered during the job.

Solution: A pre-employment test for mental or cognitive skills helps hire someone who is smart enough to learn and work. Mental ability test helps measure brain ability such as:

* problem solving
* Word
* Arithmetic
* Grammar
* Handling details

It is important to determine the specific “benchmark score” required for each job. To do this, conduct a “benchmark study”. Have an excellent employee take a pre-employment test for mental ability. Then find the test score they get. You can then choose to hire applicants who get a pre-employment test score similar to the best employees.

Disgusting & average
Joke # 3 = Some employees are so mean ... they curse monks ks.

Solution: Pre-employment testing that predicts behavior during work helps to avoid the employment of pesky and wicked people. The average people can get terribly high scores on certain pre-employment test scales:

* Aggression
* Excited
* Power motivation

So if applicants get a high score on these pre-employment test scales, they can find better and better applicants.

criminal
Joke # 4 = Some employees are such criminals ... they ask to make a call with a nickname-this is two letters-"JL".

Solution: Pre-employment testing that predicts potential criminal activity helps to avoid the employment of objectionable characters. Use caution when testing candidates using the dependability pre-employment test. Applicants will get a “high risk” or bad score on these two test scales.

* Theft / theft concerns
* Drug abuse concerns

For example, one of the pre-employment tests I researched and created has these two scales along with the other three scales. Hundreds of prisoners were imprisoned in prisons-convicted of theft crimes-to fill out my research questionnaire to research and develop the scale of theft / theft. On the test drug abuse scale, hundreds of people were convicted of drunk driving and possession of drugs and responded to my survey questionnaire. Hundreds of non-thieves and non-material abusers will also answer my survey questionnaire and serve as a comparison group.

From that enormous research project, the specific question that a thief or drug abuser was convicted found an answer that was statistically significantly different from a non-thief or substanceless abuser.

This pre-employment test includes questions to help distinguish between [a] criminals and non-criminals, and [b] drug abusers and non-substance abusers.

Try to hire people who are not likely to be thieves or drug abusers.

crazy
Joke # 5 = Some employees are very crazy ... even imaginary friends don't play with them.

Solution: The pre-employment test does not predict whether the applicant is mentally ill. Fortunately, the pre-employment test tells you whether an applicant may have a job-related “personality problem”.

For example, people with unpleasant work-related tendencies often score the following points in the pre-employment test:

* Low subjective response to pressure-crying
* Pessimistic-down-in-the-dump and low reliability
* Very excited-don't light up matches nearby

If applicants also have a high score on the pre-employment test aggression scale, job seekers such as plague should be avoided.

Unhealthy
Joke # 6 = Some employees are very unhealthy ... when they go to the club, they order gravy.

OK There is no need to consider health issues when hiring. Instead, you need to focus on hiring someone who can do the job.

But then your company complains about medical expenses.

Q = Who will pay much of your company's medical expenses?
A = An employee who leads an unhealthy lifestyle.

Wellness programs are emerging in companies to help employees transform their unhealthy lifestyle into a healthy lifestyle. If your company may require a wellness program, ask yourself whether the reason is to hire many people with unhealthy lifestyles and bring huge medical expenses.

Solution: Of course, follow the employment rules and guidelines. However, if you have an applicant that exudes unhealthy attributes, you can see if you can find another qualified applicant who does not appear to have warmed up death. Next, decide which one to adopt.

It's cheap
Joke # 7 = Some employees are so cheap ... they are chasing garbage trucks on their shopping list.

This is a big problem. Some managers are thrilled to buy cheap products and services. However, they do not compare the quality of products and services with the cheap cost of actual results. As you know, cheap things are rarely as good as quality.

Before starting a consulting company, he was a corporate manager of a large company. I explained this cheesy manager using this putdown. “Some managers are excited to save nickel, but as a result, waste a quarter. & # 39;

Solution: Ask for an example of a purchase decision made by a candidate manager during a job interview. Find out how they decided to purchase. Did the candidate [A] focus on purchasing the cheapest item or [B] analyze the quality of the product or service obtained at the cost involved? Avoid hiring managers who are proud to do [A], but little or no concern about [B].

Recommendation-Opportunity to hire the best people

Pre-employment tests and specific job interview methods can help avoid hiring people with laziness, fools, unusual behavior, or other undesirable characteristics. Yes, I notice that you joke about many types of employees who want you not to hire. Jokes are interesting. However, dealing with poor employees is not humorous. Therefore, use pre-employment tests and careful job interviews to avoid hiring clowns.